Abandoning Dream to Become a Pilot and Starting Again in the Free World #11

Although the head injury healed and I recovered after a week at the hospital, still, something seemed odd after I got out. There was nothing impacting my usual routine in particular, but every once in a while my eyesight blurred momentarily. That was when I started worrying about my career as a fighter pilot. I could have blamed and cried about my misfortune, but I couldn’t let that get in the way of my dream. No one knew about this, and I also continued training while I worked as usual.

One day, a medical officer asked, whether or not I experienced any irregularities with my body after that accident. “Your eyes look a little odd,” he said. I was ordered to get a complete physical. Long story short, the worst possible results came back. Due to the damage that my head had suffered, my eye’s ability to focus had worsened. As a result, the final diagnosis was that although I could still pilot a helicopter or a commercial airline, piloting a fighter jet with extreme levels of acceleration was completely out of the question.

This was my dream since I witnessed that bright red F-86 Sabre fighter jet at my father’s funeral. This was something I continued to pursue despite almost giving up many times. But I was now hit with the reality that I had to abandon my dream. I was at a loss of ideas on how to continue. Piloting a helicopter has its charm, but it’s different. I could remain in the Japan Self-Defense Force and work as ground crew. Or, I could retire from service and start my life over in another completely different field.

Members of the Self‐Defense Force often equate retirement from service as “going back to reality.” This was a metaphor to say it was like being released from prison after a long time inside. This was due to the similarities of both like the brutal training and having no interactions with the outside world. After going back and forth, I finally decided to return back to “reality.” Maybe there was something in reality that was just as much rewarding as it was to become a fighter pilot. I wasn’t certain, but I knew I had to make a choice.

Already 5 years and 9 months have passed since I entered service. After being fascinated by the bright red Sabre on that fateful day, my pursuit of becoming a fighter pilot was now coming to a close. Now what? How do I restart my life? My only link back in reality was just my family and no one else.

<<Searching in the Dark for a New Life>>

After retiring, I had 680,000 yen in savings from my pay, and interest. The first place I visited was a stock company. I wanted to find a way to increase the money I owned, even if it was just for a small amount.

I did have a company in mind that I wanted to invest in. The price per share was 680 JPY, just the right amount. But when I went to a branch of this stock company in order to purchase their shares in the amount of 680,000 yen, the person at the counter questioned my choice. The person said they did not recommend this purchase, but instead asked if I wanted to join them for ramen, since it was just time for lunch. I figured that the outlook of my purchase was bad, and I happily enjoyed the meal.

But when we got back to the branch office, the share prices had risen to 710 JPY. Although I was perplexed, the person in charge had by this time changed his attitude and congratulated me on how well I studied the market. In the end, I purchased fewer shares than initially anticipated. But after 2 months, the share price went even further up to 2750 JPY. That was when I sold, and ended up with 2.5 million yen in my pocket.

Overall, it was an eye-opening experience. If I was ordered to do a thousand push-ups in the Japan Self-Defense Force, and failed, my entire team had to do it all over again as punishment. But here, there was no punishment. Even if you advised against a customer’s wish, and you were proven wrong. That’s when I realized what “reality” was like. And that was the beginning of my second life.